John 11:35 Jesus wept. The shortest verse yet, the longest story in the bible. The bible also says this in Isa 53:3 He was despised, and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and as one from whom men hide their face he was despised; and we esteemed him not.
There are many places as I read God’s word and look at history where there would be occasion for weeping and sorrow. I would like to share some of this journey with you.
When Lucifer and a third of the angels rebelled against God’s love.
When Adam and Eve fell into sin.
When Cain killed his brother Abel.
When the world became so wicked and was destroyed by a flood.
When the children of Israel were delivered from Egypt and perished in the desert because of their rejection of Christ’s mercy.
When the earthly sanctuary became nothing more than an external ritual.
When Judas betrayed his saviour and then hung himself.
When Jesus uttered these words as he lovingly gazed upon that city
O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, that killeth the prophets, and stoneth them that are sent unto her! how often would I have gathered thy children together, even as a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings, and ye would not! Behold, your house is left unto you desolate.
When Jesus was in the garden of Gethsemane praying as his disciples slept.
When the crowd called out give us Barabbas.
As the sins of the world began to crush Him as he hung on the cross.
When Jesus saw His disciples being persecuted and put to death for their faith.
As His faithful remnant was persecuted down through the ages.
When the Seventh Day Adventist church after the death of Ellen G White began a gradual journey of rebellion exactly the same as the children of Israel.
When the Adventist Church officially put the trinity doctrine as their foundational belief.
Brothers and Sisters I would like to share with you on a more personal level, not so that you will feel sorry for me, because that would be selfish, but so you may be encouraged as you will most certainly go through similar doubts and trials.
As I strive to remain true to my new found faith in our Heavenly Father and our Lord Jesus Christ His Son my soul feels very much afflicted. It is like my character is going through the refiner’s fire. Things I never knew about myself are coming to the surface, layers are being peeled away and my selfishness is being exposed. I felt frustrated at people for not understanding me. I began to doubt my conviction and then my sanity. I am struggling with deep feelings of anger towards some people and even hatred. As I struggle to go to church I feel like my hands are chained and my mouth taped shut. A prison without walls. I then feel remorse and cry out to Jesus, help me, this is wrong. I don’t want to be like this. Self is being broken, pride must be removed. The thoughts, how dare they, I have been an Adventist years longer than they have. How dare they question my integrity or intelligence. I have so much to offer, why won’t they let me speak? Oh Lord, I always thought I was such a humble man with a quiet and gentle spirit.
Lord Jesus, I know you’re taking me on a journey, a place of letting go of self completely and allowing your Spirit to take control. I am scared Father, I don’t know how to. I feel so alone. Thoughts continued to race through my mind and words to express are no longer adequate. I go to my room, close the door and kneel before my Saviour. Tears begin to well up in my eyes and flow down my cheek and as I remain there in silence Jesus and I weep together.
Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.
Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth.
Blessed are they that hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled.
Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called sons of God.
Blessed are they that have been persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are ye when men shall reproach you, and persecute you, and say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.
Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets that were before you