It is wonderful how our Father teaches us lessons through our difficulties.
Over the last month I have been busily working through all our financial papers to hand over to an accountant to prepare our tax returns. I had 3 years of documents to work on (we got behind due to the difficult 2 years we had with our son's health & behaviour challenges). I wanted to have it all up-to-date, finished and out of the way before starting my new job. Adrian told me that it was enough to just get 2 years' worth done, so I could rest up and not be worn out when starting my job.
I had already started the 3rd year's documents, and felt that if I just worked really hard a couple more days, I'd get it all finished. But I started waking up each day with a headache because I was pushing myself too much (and not realising that I had stepped outside the channel of our Father's blessings). One day I had a really bad headache, that was threatening to keep me in bed. (In the past migraine headaches with vomiting were a regular occurrence for me.)
My "flesh" was annoyed. I had planned that if I just did one more day, I could have it all finished. After talking about it all with Adrian - he was wondering if I was getting worried about starting work again (after 15 years being at home looking after the family!). It wasn't that, as I was trusting that with God's Spirit dwelling in me, it would be all OK. We came to the conclusion that I had been pushing myself too hard to get the tax documents all finished and more importantly, that I had stepped outside the channel of blessing - just by doing what I wanted to do, rebelling against what Adrian (as my head) had advised me to do.
We have realised that sometimes I have subtly rebelled against "my head" in the channel of blessing. This happens, not by openly being in defiance, but by just "doing it my way" or doing more than is requested/advised, thinking it will be "better." This steps me out of the channel into independence, which is not God's plan, not His way. Everything in God's channel comes through His Son, through the authority figures in our lives, and we are blessed when we stay connected to and are obedient to our "heads" in the channel system. It was Satan who wanted to be independent and do things his own way. So when I want to be "independent" and "do it my way" I am taking part in Satan's kingdom and spirit. And in this condition I cannot be blessed.
Little things in our lives, teach us big lessons. Realising where I had placed myself in the channel, gave me the opportunity to learn how often I may be doing this without meaning to or without being aware of it.
Apology made, a determination to change, and a decision to now leave the rest of the tax documents to later (and a drink of activated charcoal to mop-up-toxins that can lead to a headache): this really bad headache (plus the beginnings of the nausea), all lifted almost instantly. Praise God for improved health and lessons to learn.
My prayer is that I will allow God to work in my life to show me where else I may be still partaking of Satan's kingdom and spirit.