Finding my real Heavenly Father - A Response to My Beloved

Hi Adrian

Just to let you know I finished reading My Beloved yesterday! Somehow its small size, and Lukas' longer naps, made it possible. The book has helped me to understand so much of what's been going on in my own life too! I like it how you mention that you thought you were "better than most", so you didn't know what you needed saving from. The exact same with me. That's what happens to us life-long Adventists who never really committed any of those "gross sins" like sex and drugs and murder - but then, when Christ starts giving us glimpses of our hearts, we realize how truly sinful we are. And the transformation is no less intense than with "sinners" like drug addicts! We were discussing with my husband last night about the cultural aspects that you mentioned make it harder for us to see the real Jesus. I'm just thinking and thinking about all this... 

Your book is also very useful for answering the question "What difference does it make, if it's two or three Beings?"

In my case, I went from thinking it was three co-Persons, to two co-Persons. It took me a while longer to understand that God the Father is the one true God, and Jesus is His Son, as well as the nature of Jesus. I'm still learning... And because of that, I'd never really appreciated Jesus' sacrifice. I mean, I tried, but... deep down, I thought, They knew the end from the beginning, and Jesus wasn't really the son, so the "suffering" of the Father wasn't about losing a son. And Jesus, He was God, so did He REALLY suffer physically? I had a hard time understanding that. And then songs like the one on the link below don't help, either... Unfortunately it's sung a lot in our church (by that I mean the SDA church).

 http://www.christianlyricsonline.com/artists/ray-boltz/rise-again.html 

I'd also thought the Father was this very distant (but benevolent) Being who managed to get His two associates to do all the work of salvation. I knew it was wrong to think that way, but that's what I could see through the Trinity. Once the Trinity was out of the way, the Father suddenly came into existence. My whole life I've had to accept "by faith" that "God" loves me, without really feeling it in my heart, nor understanding it. I couldn't fathom a "Father" God who is actually interested in a relationship with me. And I think that's why I could never attract anyone else to Jesus, even though I longed to. So all these new truths are opening up a new world and a new experience with Christ! How can we help my son Lukas experience this as a reality?.

Blessings,

Marlise