Psa 18:4 The sorrows of death compassed me, and the floods of ungodly men made me afraid.
I have been thinking the last few days on the sufferings of Father and Jesus. There grows a more deeply yearning for them and their suffering. I question why our Father has had to suffer this much with this controversy. The cruelty of Satan to the Father makes we weep for our beloved Father. Why did He do this to Him? Sin cannot be explained. It is a mystery and yet our Father still suffers.
I think of those who died today. I don't want to dwell on it but if I wish to walk with Jesus I have to enter into it. I see the drug addict breathing his last, Jesus has tried to reach him for years and show His love to him. Now this young man is dead and the boys mother is in agony of tears and sorrow and Jesus cries with her. Just ones of thousands of cases. Who can grasp the agony of this calvary?
Should we try? Should we try to walk with Him in this suffering? Shouldn't we think about it? Lord Jesus I don't understand why you have to suffer so much. My heart is stirred. It weighs on me with a growing burden. When will your suffering end.
Maybe He will say to me, do not weep for me but for you and your children and what will happen to your city for the wickedness of your people. Yes Lord, we have heaped upon ourselves the chains of death, there is no reason that even the grass should grow for us or the sun shine. 125000 aborted children every day should darken every day with the stench of blackness.
I see you sitting in the corner in agony. How do you keep going? For love of me? I can't grasp it, I can't understand why you love me like you do. You didn't give up on me.
I look forward to your triumph Lord Jesus. I see you come in before the hosts of the universe. I long for that day, we all will be weeping for joy for the Son of God that saved us, that loved us so much and all to the Father's glory.
I will love you forever Lord Jesus, this love will never end for you are the source of that impulse and and grasp it will all you have given me.
Only a few short years now dear Jesus, I wait with you in this garden of death. Help me to stay awake. Many days I feel drowsy with my self centeredness. Help me to stay awake to here your groaning for the weight of the sins of men you carry to calvary every day in a flood of tears. truly the floods of ungodly men surround you and the clamours of death are with you constantly.
My mind is locking onto you. I don't want to stop thinking about it. I want to join this fellowship of your suffering and walk with you. Nothing else matters now. There is nothing else to think about, nothing else compares to your majestic agape love for us poor sinners.
All glory honour and power to the Son of God. Your kingdom given of the Father will last forever and I will follow you where ever you go. I trust this is your promise to me.
I love you, I love you both now and forever