Wow, it is such a humbling journey. You know, nothing that happened on our journey to the Son was of our own working. The only thing that we did was to start questioning what we actually believe. Starting with the Holy Spirit. My husband never agreed with the church's view, so last year he began some research. And he started to include me in all that he discovered. From there the Lord took over. No, He lead from the start, but after the initial research, one thing followed after another, that was none of our doing. Never ever thinking that we, as part of our church, removed Jesus as our foundation. You taught us that. And much more!
For the first time in my christian experience I feel inspired. For the last 4 years, I accepted that I expected too much of our leadership. I always believed that they are there to inspire us and lead us and bless us! But it never happened. Therefore there must be something wrong with my spiritual life. But it all changed, finally we discovered a leader that really loves his Savior and because of that, he is able to bless and inspire his congregation. Thank you for loving the Father's only begotten Son so much, that you sacrificed everything to receive the blessing from the Father to bless us all! The only channel of blessing is through Jesus, the only begotten Son, the Prince of Heaven. That is why we cannot be blessed in our current church structure.
I, for the first time, began to grasp His infinite love for me. This Mighty Prince that He would love me. (the thought is from "My Beloved") If the tears are not flowing, my heart aches. That He really answered my prayer that I might receive the eye salve to see what is wrong with the Laodicean church. Who am I, I asked, that He made me see, but then, that's what I prayed for, I told myself, and accepted the Son with joy and gladness! Do I make sense? My heart is so full of joy, I can just go on and on... I was in a barren land for so long.
But there is still so much to learn in God's Kingdom. He still has to purge out all worldliness that I don't even realize. Sometimes it is a scary thing, but I trust that He will do the work that I cannot do.