Fear/Selfishness to Unlearn - Agape Love/Submission to Learn

I have much to unlearn and much to learn regarding to relating to the authority figures God has placed in my life. As an example of how NOT to operate in relation to authority figures over us, I will share an experience of mine.

As many of you know, Adrian & I have a son with autism.  A number of years ago, I commenced some therapy that cost a few thousand dollars, and it did have some positive effects for Daniel.  However, due to a stressful time - Adrian's health downturn leading him to need time off work, selling our house to be debt free, moving a number of times to find a better location to regain health - I was unable to continue to perform the therapy for Daniel.  A couple of years later, when things were a bit more stable for us, I wanted to recommence the therapy.  This would have required another couple of thousand dollars of expenditure.  Because I was unable to follow through with the therapy earlier, I thought Adrian might not approve of spending any more money on it (as I might not be able to follow through on it again).  However, out of desperation to help our autistic son, I really wanted to go ahead with the therapy.  I justified it, due to the fact that I had the money to pay for it, thanks to our previous fund-raising ventures and the fact that it would be beneficial to Daniel.  I was determined that this time I will follow through on the daily therapy and make it work.  So I booked the appointment for the re-assessment with the therapists.  Then I told Adrian about it.  I went ahead with it.  But I was not blessed in the process.  I was able to follow through with the daily therapy sessions for a number of months, but then - again due to moving house, health issues and Daniel's behaviour (due to a parasite infection) - I had to abandon the daily therapy.

On reflection on the whole process, we realised that I had violated the "divine pattern" of operation in the channels of authority.  I justified my actions: I had a really good cause for my action (love for my autistic son and trying to help him to improve); I had the money for the therapy (although by not being able to follow through - it ended up being money wasted) - but "the end does not justify the means." I went about the process in an independent fashion, not consulting the wisdom of my husband.  I did not even ask his opinion, for fear that he might oppose what I wanted to do.  When it was time to have the appointment, I just informed him that was what I was doing.  I hid information from the God-appointed authority in my life - my husband.  I acted independently and did not even allow him input in the decisions.  This brings a reminder of how Eve operated when she was tempted to eat from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil.  She operated independently of her husband, trusting that she had sufficient wisdom to make the right decision.  The deed was done before her husband was given a chance to have input into the decision.

To operate independently and in a deceptive manner, hiding information from the authority figures above us - fearing that they might not approve of what we want to do - is against the Divine Pattern of God's Kingdom.  The Son of God does not act independently from His Father, nor does He hide information from His Father in making any decisions, or doing any action.  They are "one" in Spirit and The Son represents His Father in all things.  

I am sure this is only one of many instances where I have operated in a manner of independence driven by fear or shame.  My ways of operation have been habitual from how I operated with my parents.  I have much to unlearn and much to learn.

Inheritance from our parents - from our first parents (Adam & Eve) have taught us all to operate in deception, hiding from the authority figures in our lives - fear drives a lot of what we do.

Gen 3:7-10  And the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together, and made themselves aprons.  And they heard the voice of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day: and Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God amongst the trees of the garden. And the LORD God called unto Adam, and said unto him, Where art thou? And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked; and I hid myself. 

Fear and selfishness are our inheritance from our first parents - the inheritance we have in Satan's kingdom - where selfishness and fear reign! We have much to unlearn in relating to authority figures over us, be they in marriage, in churches, relating to governments, or those paying our wages etc.  I/We have so much more to learn about how to make an Appeal to our authority figures with the information we have, rather than hiding from them what we want to do out of fear that they will not approve and let us proceed.

Let's all keep striving to be more like our great Pattern - The Son of God - who lives in perfect submission to His Father.  He does not live in fear - because perfect love casts out fear.  Let's all keep learning more of the Agape love of our Father, manifest in His Son, that all fear and selfishness will be driven out of our lives and replaced by the Agape love of our Saviour and our Father.

1Jn 4:18  There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.